Simply put, habits are formed when we repeat something over and over again. 

There are five steps to changing a habit:

1. First, become conscious of the habit.  Recognize the behavior pattern.  This is simply a tracking process.  When something you do is unconscious you are simply not aware that you are doing it.  The idea of tracking relates to awareness.  It often really helps to keep a journal and record the number of times that the behavior occurs – you may also want to track the circumstances that generally accompany the behavior.

 

2. Second, interrupt the behavior pattern.  This requires a more heightened awareness of the pattern.  I often refer to this as holding the behavior in your consciousness.  It is very important that you be gentle with yourself – when you recognize the behavior do what you can to interrupt it.  Often, when something is deeply ingrained in your personal experience it is hard to recognize the behavior is happening until it has already begun or even finished.  The important thing is to simply work on interrupting it whenever you can.  Don’t beat yourself up if you “slip” now and again.

 

3. Third, identify the deeper cause of the behavior (hint: this usually relates to needs).  Again, if you can track the circumstances that surround the pattern you may begin to recognize what I call a “trigger”.  This refers to the particular dynamics that tend to evoke the behavior pattern.  For example: stress – I eat when I am stressed.  I particularly gravitate towards crunchy and salty snack foods, such as chips. 

 

4. Fourth, find a different way of meeting the need (I call this “making a self honoring choice”) I may want potato chips, but what I need is an outlet for my stress.  Sometimes I need to do something active – say, go for a walk.  Maybe there is anger behind the stress so lifting weights or running may be a better release.  Perhaps I simply need to meditate or take a warm bath.

 

5.  Fifth, practice the new behavior until it becomes a habit.  If I recognize that I get stressed out at work – perhaps even at specific times – I can plan some activities into my schedule to allow me a healthy outlet.  Presently, I go for a walk in the midmorning as a way of releasing stress.  I also do a 20 minute meditation every afternoon.  Initially, I struggled to make these choices, but I have come to recognize that the benefit outweighs any perceived “cost”.  I used to say that I didn’t have time but taking time for myself has actually increased my productivity and efficiency.